Friendship 1.2-Dec 8

Making friends

Finding and keeping friends is a skill that can take some time to develop. From around the age of four, children develop an understanding that other people may have thoughts, interests, and feelings that are different to theirs. This emerging capacity, known as Theory of Mind, helps children make friends, says Eileen Kennedy-Moore, a clinical psychologist. "They become better at imagining someone else's perspective and this fuels more intimate friendships."

Children often have a *pragmatic view of friendship, forming close bonds with peers in the playground or classroom, says Kennedy-Moore. "It is a 'love the one you're with' approach." "The thing that kids have as an advantage over adults is that they are in the room with 25 others in their stage of life," she says. "In adulthood, it takes deliberate effort to find and cultivate friendships." According to one study, adults must spend around 50 hours together to go from mere acquaintances to casual friends, 90 hours together before they consider each other friends, and more than 200 hours to become close friends who share an emotional connection.

Psychologists say best friendships can help children prepare for close relationships, including romantic ones, as they grow up. "Best friendship is really like falling in love," says Kennedy-Moore. "Close friendships in childhood help kids practice the skills they need in intimate relationships throughout their lives. They learn about other people, and about themselves, to deal with feelings like loneliness, jealousy, and frustration."

If children don’t talk about friends at home, it doesn’t mean they don’t have any, she says, adding that this may be because they prefer a quieter style of interacting with others. Parents can support their children in forming friendships by organizing fun meet-ups outside of school. "Kids usually make friends by doing fun things together, so you may want to think about your child's interests and seek out activities that fit [their personality] and could be done with other children," says Kennedy-Moore. Parents can also teach their children how to join in with games and activities. "The formula is: watch then blend," she says. "Watch what the other child is doing, then slide into the action without interrupting."

(2) Restate the underlined quote in one sentence.  

Children learn about themselves and others by having close friendships to develop skills to understand and interact with others.