Write an essay in 120-150 words
Should governments work together to increase global food production?
Use two of the points to support your
answer.
・Land space ・Pollution ・Population ・Technology
Structure:
Introduction (Response: 1~2 sen)
Main Body (2
paragraphs) : First/Firstly, Also/Second, Finally/Also, Additionally/In addition, …
Conclusion (1~2 sen)
Plan in 3 min.-> Write in 15 min.-> Revise in 2 min.
Tamaki
返信削除Governments should work together to increase global food production.
First, these days, the population of the world is increasing rapidly, and there are a lot of people who can’t have enough meal to live all over the world. Governments should make an effort to stop death from hunger. Second, governments can stop food pollution from making a safe food product for people who always feel hungry. It leads to a healthy life for people to eat healthy product.
For these reasons, governments should make a great effort to increase global production.
Only six sentences in 91 words.
削除Two points are stated, but what is food pollution?
Enough meal=> enough food live all over …=> around the world
Governments should<= This is an opinion, not an explanation.
stop food pollution<= What is it??? from making a safe food product <= ???
who always feel hungry=> who cannot have enough food
It leads to <= What does “It” refer to? healthy product=> healthy food
Asami
返信削除I think governments shoud work together to increase grobal food production. I have two reasons to support my opinion.
First of all, the countries of small land space cannot produce many food. In contrast, a big land place countries can produce many foods. It isn't fare so rich land space countries should help poor land space countries. And the small space countries should help other things such as finance.
In addition, aspect of technology, we have to work together. These days, we invent many technology and it uses in many field. However, if we work together to invent new one, we are probably work more efficiantly. We are likely to produce more foods.
For these reasons, we have to work together to increase global food production.
126 words. Very well structured and two points are clearly explained. Errors in Singular/Plural, Countable/Uncountable nouns.
削除shoud work together to increase grobal=>
countries of …=> with many food=>
a big land place countries=> many foods=>
fare so rich …=> rich land space countries=> poor land space countries=>
And the small space countries=> help other things such as finance<= can provide what they have to …, such as …
aspect of technology=> from the … many technology=> it uses<= what is “it”???
new one<= what is “one”? are probably work=> efficiently=>
We are likely …=> , and we’ll be able to …
we have to=> governments …
Asami
削除I think governments should work together to increase grobal food production. I have two reasons to support my opinion.
First of all, small area countries cannot produce with lots of food. In contrast, large area countries can do it. It isn't fare, so large area countries should help small area countries. And small area countries can provide what they have to do, such as finance.
In addition, from the point of technology, we have to work together. These days, we are being invented and used technologies in many fields. However, if we work together to invent new technologies, we are likely to work more efficiently and we'll be able to produce lots of foods.
For these reasons, governments have to work together to increase global food production.
I think governments should work together to grow more food. This is very important because many people in the world do not have enough to eat.
返信削除First, the population is getting bigger every year. More people need more food now. In such situations, some countries have extra food but others don’t. If countries work together, they can help each other and share food.
Second, technology can help grow more food. Some countries have a lot of machines and good tools for farming. If they share the technology, farmers in other countries can also grow food more easily.
In conclusion, if governments work together and share food and technology, we can help more people and stop hunger around the world.
119 words. Excellent!!! Very well explained and written.
削除Two points are clearly mentioned!!!
getting bigger=> increasing but others=> while others …
they can help each other and share food=> they can share extra food to reduce food shortages.
stop hunger=> reduce food shortages
I think governments should work together to increase global production. Recently, the lack of food and food loss are problem in the world.First, nowadays, the lack of rice is a serious problem in Japan. Japan is the country which rice is the main food and most family eat it. The one of the reason is the Japanese government was late for working on the problem.
返信削除Second, food loss in southern hemisphere is a big problem. The southern hemisphere has so many food loses despite some northern country has a starving. It cause the valance of food demand and supply is unequalled and sudden increase of population in northern area. Governments which has food loss problem should think the way to deliver food to the countries are in need. The governments and we should be more considerate to the solution of the food problems all over the world.
147 words. Are the problems in the northern and southern hemispheres correct???
削除Also, only the “population” was briefly mentioned but what about another point???
What production? are problem=> lack or shortage???
the country which rice is …=> a country where … most family=>
The one of the reason=> was late for working => started solving the problem too late
The southern hemisphere=> countries in the …
has so many food loses despite some northern country has a starving=> have a lot of food losses
some northern country has a starving<= Really???
It cause=> valance of food<=???
sudden increase of population in northern area.<=???
Governments which has =>
The countries are in need=>
considerate to=> … of solution of=>
I think governments should work together to increase global food production. Recently, the lack of food and food loss are problem in the world. First, nowadays, the lack of rice is a serious problem in Japan. Japan is the a country where people eat rice as a main food. Some reason is the Japanese government was started solving the problem too late. Other reason is some land spaces developed into buildings at the local area. Second, food loss in developed countries is a big problem. However, some African countries have a serious starvation problem. It cause the valance of demand and supply is unequalled and sudden population growth in African countries. Governments which have food loss problem should think the way to deliver food to the countries are in need. The governments and we should be more considerate of solution of the food problems all over the world.
削除Shizuka
返信削除I don’t think governments should work together to increase global food production. Because of the differences between the country and others.
First, if the problem occurs when the grain was carried some country to other countries. It is difficult to decide which country should take responsibility for the problem. The gain has big effect for many people, so the food problem is sensitive. Second, it cost to import food and when we import food. we use cars and airplanes, it harmful to the environment. Importing has bad effects not only for people but also environment.
In conclusion, government should work in their own countries.
104 words. Unclear why governments shouldn’t work together.
削除Also, you did NOT include any of the Points!!!
Because of …<= no verb???
the problem<= what problem? the grain<= which grain? from … to … <= what is the main verb???
take responsibility=> is responsible for …
The grain<=? has big effect for=> is essential for people’s lives
Second, it cost …<= Rewrite the sentence in a simpler way with proper punctuations.
bad effects … for=>
government =>
Shuntaro
返信削除I think governments should work together to increase global food production. It has important reasons for making profits and decreasing starving people.
First, global food production generates benefits. It gives people various jobs that related food production. Employment will increase and the country get a rapid economic growth.
Second, it is necessary to decrease starving people. These days, a lot of people who live in poor country are suffering from a food shortage because of population increase. If enough food are produced in the world, they can prevent people, especially children dying due to lack of nutrition.
In conclusion, people can make profits and decrease starving people by increasing global food production.
112 words. Good writing, but why do governments work together? Also, you did NOT include any of the Points!!!
削除It has=> Such unity will … Profits=> benefits
Employment will increase=> More people will be employed get=> will enjoy
Poor country=>
Enough food are=> they can <= who? prevent … from a lack of