2024年5月18日土曜日

Writing-May 18

Write about a job you want (TS) and 2-3 supporting sentences (SS). 
Add Details (D) where you can.
(TS) - I want to get a job that helps people in need.
(SS-1) I like helping people. <= (D) It makes me feel good.
(SS-2) Also, I like to see people smiling. <= (D) It makes me feel happy.
(SS-3) I’ll enjoy my job more if I can help people. <= (D) Job satisfaction is important.

18 件のコメント:

  1. (TS) I want to get a job to relate to food.
    (SS) I like eating and making dishes. (D) The delicious dishes make me happy.
    (SS) Also, I’m interested in food the most. (D) I’m familiar with food history.
    (SS) I’ll like my job more if I work about foods. (D) To like my job is important.

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    1. Very well explained.
      #1 => ... job that is related to ...
      #3 The ...=> Delicious ...
      #7 To like ...=> It's important to do a job that ...

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    2. I want to get a job that is related to relate to food. 
I like eating and making dishes. Delicious dishes make me happy. 
Also, I’m interested in food the most. I’m familiar with food history.
I’ll like my job more if I work about foods. It’s important to do a job that I’ll like it.

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  2. I want to be a video editor.
    I like editing videos. (D) working with computer is fun for me.
    My school and my club activty can learn about it.(D)My school has a teacher of movie.
    I like learning skills about video.

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    1. You wrote two SSs and three Details for the first SS.
      #3 a computer
      #4 My school ...=> I can learn ...
      club activity<=???
      #4 and #5 are both (D) for SS-1
      #5 =>... a teacher who ...
      #6 This is your SS-2

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    2. I want to be a video editor.
      I like editing videos. (D) working with a computer is fun for me.
      I can learn about it.(D)My school has a teacher who teach about video .
      I like learning skills about video.(D) I can feel exciting and fun while learning skills about video.

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  3. Tamaki
    I want to get a job that gives me challenges.
    I like challenges. It makes me very high and excited.
    I don’t like ordinary days much. It makes me so boring.

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    1. Well organized and explained.
      #3 => ... me very excited. (high is used for drugs)
      #4 ... much=> so much.
      #5 ... boring=> bored.

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  4. Shuntaro
    I want to get a job that can express creativity.
    I like drawing pictures. It makes me feel happy.
    Also, I like working alone. It makes me feel relaxed.
    A job in art is free and interesting. I can do what I want.

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    1. Very well explained.
      #1 ... that can express=> that I can demonstrate/show my creativity
      #6 A job in art ... => Creative job is ...

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  5. I want to be a musician.
    I like listening and playing music very much. Music makes many people bravery and robust .
    I can enjoy music with around people if make we a band.
    Also, musicians can create people’s smile. They have a happiness power.

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    1. #3 bravery (n)=>
      #4 with around people => with people around me
      if make we a band=>
      #5 can create ...=> make people smile.
      #6 a happiness power=> the power to make people happy

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  6. I want to be a photographer.
    I like taking picture. I often take pictures.
    Also, I like to travel somewhere. I want to travel around the world and take many pictures.

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    1. Well organized. Another SS?
      #2 picture=>
      #4 => travel many places.

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    2. I want to be a photographer.
      I like taking pictures. I often take pictures.
      Also, I like travel many places. I want to travel many places to take many pictures.

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  7. 河合望穂
    I want to get a job that I talk with many people.
    I like to have fun talking.
    Also, I want some people to feel happy talking to me.
    If I can get a job like that, I’ll enjoy.

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    1. What kind of job? Any example?
      #1 ... that I talk ...=> that I can talk with ...
      #2 => I like talking ...
      #3 some people=> other people ...
      #4 ... I'll enjoy it very much

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    2. I want to get a job that I can talk with many people.
      I like talking with people.
      Also, I want other people to feel happy talking to me.
      If I can get a job like that, I’ll enjoy it very much.

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