Write a paragraph about one way that laughing
is good for you or when you laugh a lot.
Begin your paragraph with a topic
sentence (TS) that introduces your main idea.
Write two supporting sentences (SS-1,
SS-2) with a supporting detail (explanation/example) for each SS.
Add a concluding sentence (CS) at the
end of the paragraph.
-> B. Plan/p.89: Write your ideas. Add an
explanation/example.
(TS) My sister always makes me
laugh a lot.
(SS-1) She has a wonderful ability to tell a great story about
everyday things.=> For example, when we have dinner, she tells funny
stories about her day.
(SS-2) My sister also makes me laugh when we
watch TV together. => She pretends that she is an actress in a show, and
says what the person is thinking but not saying.
(CS) Her laughter always
makes me happy.
smiling ≠ laughing
Laughter is a good way to make a good social life.
返信削除I usually laugh all the time when I go to the next grade.
I think laughing a lot is the best way to make friends.
Also, I sometimes laugh during presentations.
I think if I am afraid face during the presentation, some audience don't feel good.
For these reasons, I think laughter is a good way to make a good social life.
73 words in 6 sentences.
削除Well explained. “I think” doesn’t help explain the TS.
SS1: usually … all the time=> go to the next grade<=???
SD1: I think laughing …=> Laughter helps me …
SS2: during …=> when I make a …
SD2: => It helps the audience …
Laughter is a good way to make a good social life.
削除I usually laugh all the time when I go to the next grade in April.
Laughter helps me to make friends.
Also, I sometimes laugh when I make a presentations.
It helps the audience feel good.
For these reasons, I think laughter is a good way to make a good social life.
My friends always make me laugh.
返信削除They tell a various jokes every day for me.
So I feel it’s very fun to talk with them.
Also, It make me smile by playing sports with them.
Their interesting and amazing skills are very funny for me.
I usually laugh by my friends.
51 words in 6 sentences.
削除SS1: a various=> various
SD1: => It helps/gives me …
SS2: Also, It make me …=>
What does “It” refer to??? Does this support the TS?
by playing …<=?
SD2: what skills?
CS: laugh by=>
My friends always makes me laugh a lot.
返信削除She has a talent to imitation to someone.For example, she is good at imitate my teacher.
Also,she tell me to funny jokes.When I hear her jokes,I always remove stress and it makes me feel better.
Her laughter always makes me feel good.
50 words in 6 sentences. Pay attention to the verb forms.
削除TS: friends … makes=>
SS1: to imitation to=>
SD1: at imitate=> my teacher<= which teacher?
SS2: Also,she tell me to …=>
SD2: => They help me …
My friends always makes me laugh a lot.
削除She has a talent to imitate someone.
For example, she is good at imitate my classroom teather.
Also, she tells me to funny jokes.
They help me to remove stress when I am disappointed.
Her laughter always makes me feel good.
Laughing is is good for me to make new friends.
返信削除I always try to smile when I talk to people for the first time. If I laugh, they will laugh and talk to me.
Also, when I meet neighbors, I greed them with a smile. I laugh and talk to them, they greet me too.
Laughing always helps me to make my relationships better.
64 words in 6 sentences. Write about laughter, not smiling!
削除TS: is is=> helps me …
SD1: laugh?
SS2: greed=>
SD2: laugh?
Laughing is good for my health.
削除I usually watch comedy when my mind feel down.
I feel a little more positive after laughing.
Also, it improves memory.
Laughing prevents dementia and improves memory.
Laughing has a very positive effect on me.
I laugh a lot when I talk with my family.
返信削除My brother likes trip and he talks funny experiences on his trip.
= For example, he was stolen his money by cute girl in Thailand.
He also brings trouble but he always makes it funny.
= I think he seems like a Curious George.
Thanks to him, my family always laugh.
61 words in 6 sentences.
削除Is this about your laughing or brother???
Explain the topic sentence in SSs and SDs.
Tamaki
返信削除My friend always makes me laugh a lot.
He has a great talent to tell things funny that I’m not so familiar with.
For example, he usually tells me about a game which he loves and he explains me how the game is wonderful.
Also, he makes me laugh when I talk with a teacher.
He pretends like a teacher and comes into the conversation with a real teacher.
Thanks to him, I can reduce my stress by laughing.
79 words in 6 sentences. SS2 is not clear.
削除SS1: to tell=> for telling
things funny=> funny things
SD1: Does this explain SS1 more?
SS2-SD2: ??? Rewrite.
Shuntaro
返信削除Laughter is a good way for me to reduce anxiety and stress.
I laugh before the big stage. When I make a smile, I can feel relaxed and perform well in a presentation, swimming competition, and test.
Also, I can get myself under control by laughing. I need to calm down in any situation.
Laugher always makes me relaxed.
59 words in 6 sentences. laughing or smiling?
削除SS1: the=>
SD1: smile is NOT the same as laughing
SD2: Explain how or when.
TS: good.
Laughter is a good way for me to reduce anxiety and stress.
削除I laugh before the big stage. When I laugh and think I'm okay' in my heart, I can feel relaxed and perform well in a presentation, swimming competition, and test.
Also, I can get myself under control by laughing. I need to calm down in unusual situation, such as there are some troubles.
Laugher always makes me relaxed.
62 words in 6 sentences. What comic are you writing about???
返信削除TS: “The” <= Which?
SS1: => They
SD1: What kind of character?
When I read …<= It’s already stated in the TS
There are …, but …=> Why “but”???