Write a paragraph about good ways for families
or students to relax.
Also, write at least one supporting detail (explanation/example) to one of the supporting sentences.
Also, write at least one supporting detail (explanation/example) to one of the supporting sentences.
☆ Be consistent with the subject-object: we/you/I
TS: Being with friends is
a great way for students to relax.
SS-1: First of all, it is easy to be with friends because they know you well.
<=SD You always have something to talk about.
SS-2: Also, with friends, you can laugh and have fun.
<=SD Laughter is a good way to reduce stress.
SS-3: Finally, you can talk with friends about things other than school.
<=SD Because school is a big part of our lives, students need a break from that topic.
CS: Spending time with friends helps students relax.
SS-1: First of all, it is easy to be with friends because they know you well.
<=SD You always have something to talk about.
SS-2: Also, with friends, you can laugh and have fun.
<=SD Laughter is a good way to reduce stress.
SS-3: Finally, you can talk with friends about things other than school.
<=SD Because school is a big part of our lives, students need a break from that topic.
CS: Spending time with friends helps students relax.
Punctuation errors: First,
have/share a good time together,
make/build good memory,
share an experience
Doing whatever you like by yourself is a great way for students to relax.
返信削除First of all, activities you like make you feel happy. For example, I like listening to music and I feel excited to just listen to my favorite music.
Also, you don't have to care about anyone nor anything. There must be a lot of stressful stuff for you at school, so it's important to get rid of them when you relax.
For these reasons, doing you like by yourself is a great way to relax.
89 words. Well structured and written.
削除#2 … make=>
#3 … , when I listen to …, I feel …
excited=>
#4 … care => worry
#5 stuff=> things
… get rid of them when …=> feel free from such nuisances.
#6 … what/anything you like
Doing whatever you like by yourself is a great way for students to relax.
削除First of all, activities you like make you feel happy. For example, when I listen to music, I feel excited and happy.
Also, you don't have to worry about anyone nor anything. There must be a lot of stressful things for you at school, so it's important to feel free from such nuisances when you relax.
For these reasons, doing what you like by yourself is a great way to relax.
Having a hobby is a great way for students to relax.
返信削除First, we are always satisfied when we do something we want.
Also, we can get positive feeling by making something we are looking forward to.
Finally, we can enjoy talking with friends who have the same hobby even at school.
Enjoy hobbies in free time helps students relax.
59 words
削除#2 are=> feel
#3 … tend to think things positively when …
For example, …
#4 … about …
#5 Enjoying …
Having a hobby is a great way for students to relax.
削除First, always feel satisfied when we do something we want.
Also, we tend to think things positively when we look for something interesting.
For example, I can do my best on something I hate if I can go to a concert of my favorite artist.
Finally, we can enjoy talking with friends who have the same hobby about it even at school.
Enjoying hobbies in free time helps students relax.
Taking with friends is a good way for students to relax.
返信削除First of all, we can talk about our hobbies with friends easily because they know us well.
We can share our opinions and feelings about our hobbies with them.
Also, to talk with friends is often easier than talking with our family members, such as parents.
We don’t have to talk to friends with a big attention.
Finally, to talk with friends makes us very fun.
Positive feelings are needed for students to relax.
Having a talk with friends can make students relax.
94 words
削除#2 … know each other well
#3 experience
#5 … worry about … when we …
#6, 7=> Finally, we tend to become positive when …
Explain in another sentence
Talking with friends is a good way for students to relax.
削除First of all, we can talk about our hobbies with friends easily because they know each other well.
We can share our opinions and feelings about our experience with them.
Also, to talk with friends is often easier than talking with our family members, such as parents.
We don’t have to worry about to say wrong phrases when we talk to friends.
Finally, we tend tend to become positive when we talk to friends.
Having a talk with friends can make students relax.
Visiting memorable places is a great way for families to relax.
返信削除First of all, spend time together is the best way to relax because we can know more about each other.
If we can know about a new side of each other, it will be easier to open our hearts.
Also, we can talk about what did they do or what happened there last time visited.
It will be good to relax and deepen the bond.
Finally, the time which spent with all families together will be a new memory and history of the family.
If they feel tired and need to relax, they can heal it by a visit there again.
Spending time in memorable places helps families relax.
120 words
削除#2 spend time=> experiencing a memorable time together
know each other more than …
#3 => When we …, we’ll …
#4 … what we did or enjoyed during the time later.
#5 => We’ll enjoy the shared experience once more.
#6 => Finally, it will …
#7 This doesn’t really support #6
Visiting memorable places is a great way for families to relax.
削除First of all, experiencing a memorable time together is the best way to relax because we can know each other more than before.
When we can know about a new side of each other, we'll be easier to open our hearts.
Also, we can talk about what we did or enjoyed during the time later.
We'll enjoy the shared experience once more.
Finally, it'll the time which spent with all families together will be a new memory and history of the family.
We can talk about the memory later with smiling faces.
So, spending time in memorable places helps families relax.
Traveling is a great way for families to relax.
返信削除First of all, you can spend the same time with your family.
Even if you can't usually spend together, you can do it on a trip.
Also, you can increase memories with your family.
When you are tired, you will see the pictures of that and your feelings will filled with hapiness.
Finally, your family laugh more.
Laughing with your families and looking their smile can reduce stress.
For these reasons, traveling with your framily helps families relax.
87 words. Very well explained.
削除#2 … spend good time together
#4 … add new memories
#5 => You can always … and remember the good time together.
#6 … when you travel.
Traveling is a good way for families to relax.
削除First of all, you can spend good time together with your family.
Even if you can’t usually spend together, you can do it on a trip.
Also, you can add new memories with your family.
You can always look back the photo and remember the good time together.
Finally, your family laugh more when you travel.
Laughing with your family and looking their smile can reduce stress.
For these reasons, traveling with your family helps families relax.
Being hobby is a great way for students to relax.
返信削除First of all you can enjoy such us play guitar and play games.
Also you can released from stress while do your hobby.
Finally you can find new activities that you haven’t felt
43 words
削除#1 => Having a
#2 First of all, … enjoy yourself when you …
#3 Also, … be relieved … you are doing …
#4 Finally, you may find
Having a hobby is a great way for students to relax.
削除First of all, you can enjoy yourself when you play guitar and play games.
Also, you are relived stress while you are doing hobby.
Finally, you may find new activities that you haven’t felt